So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
