I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
