Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
