i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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