I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
