there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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