I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
