We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Come see our sink grown plant.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
