I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
