The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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