Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
BRING THE BAGELS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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