I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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