Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Say something about gay babies.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
3 2 1 whiskey
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
