I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
