mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
