omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
