no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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