ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
