so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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