Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
