On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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