Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i want to swaddle you in tequila
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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