This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
