Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
