I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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