What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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