I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
