How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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