Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
