this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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