we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
