we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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