First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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