she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
