I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize