So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
