everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I didn't notice because vodka
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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