dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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