I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
