So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
