so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My pussy is not your playground.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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