He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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