Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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