I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
