I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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