Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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