Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
