what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
