does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
