I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
